I haven’t been the most diligent blogger about my boating journey. Before I got my boat I planned to document everything…and share every few days…I thought I’d make this great story to help others and show what’s involved with buying a boat. Well, some of that made it to the interwebs. Sadly, a lot is still on the editing table.
For as far back as I can remember, I’ve always had sleep/fatigue issues. I am always, and I’m not exaggerating, I am always exhausted. I know, people have it a lot worse than me. People actually do things and become drained.
Fourth grade is the first time I can recall being called out about it. Kids made fun of me because I was seemingly half asleep at times in class. I’d get a pass to the bathroom just to sit and close my eyes for 10 minutes. I’ve always been late because I can’t get out of bed. I take naps when I should be getting ready to go to work. I’ve not applied myself fully because it’s challenging to focus when I feel like I’ll just fall over asleep. It’s not narcolepsy, or multiple personalities. My doctors have run every test and they all come back normal. It’s “chronic fatigue”, and it sucks. Maybe it’s connected to chronic migraines, maybe not. Whenever I want to do anything I’m so overwhelmed with exhaustion I have to lie down. Like right now. It’s annoying and embarrassing. I miss out on quite a bit in life because I never have the energy to go do things. When I do have energy I try to do all the things I should have already accomplished all at the same time knowing that my energy won’t last. I’ve never had a 9-5 desk job because I know I’ll fall asleep or need to close my eyes. The only job I’ve consistently had over the years is a server, which both makes sense and doesn’t. I’m forced to stand up and move about so I can’t get comfortable and nap…but I also don’t have the energy all the time to do a good job.
Just now I had to stop and lie down. Then I start some other project. Then come back to this one. It’s a very unfocused way of going about my day.
I’ve always felt like a pest or a crybaby if I vocalized how I was feeling. “Oh you’re tired??” People just thought I was lazy. I thought I was lazy. I know people who have raised a child while working and attending college…if they weren’t tired what right do I have to say that I am??
I’ve only recently begun seeing doctors for this. It’s ridiculous. I get nothing done and I never finish what I start. I’m on one medication now, which doesn’t seem to be helping.
But I love boating. I love my boat and this new world I am in. And I want to share everything and make helpful videos. So if you enjoy my posts, hopefully there will be a lot more!
Thanks for hanging in there with me!
See you at sea 🙂